GASS   

        The Gentlemen's Ale Sampling Society

        1982-2017  35 YEARS OF BEERS

                                                                                                                                                                                            

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NOVEMBER MEETING

 

OUR OWN CHOCLATIER!

Showing us how to make hand-made chocolates

Dave the 'Chocolate Man', came all the way from Yorkshire to entertain and instruct us on the wonders of the world of Chocolate.

Willie Wonka he was not - despite the physical similarity!  He was far funnier! 

He started by explaining that he had driven 200 miles to get to us and was driving 200 miles back as soon as we had finished with us. 
"Do you do many presentations Dave?" we naively asked.  "Yes, in fact I'm in Brighton tomorrow, where is Brighton?"

"Brighton is just down the road Dave, did you not think to stay overnight?"

"No"

"Wow, another 400 miles tomorrow then!".  "Where next?"

"Maidstone the next day - where is Maidstone?"

Eeerrrrrrrr - just over there Dave, about 6 miles, did you not check on a map at all, after all you will have driven
about 1200 miles more than you needed and your petrol costs will be about five times the cost of staying overnight"

"I don't have a map".

Eeerrrrrrrrrm!

Dave then proceeded to give us his life story, which lasted quite a while.  As anyone who has tried to tell GASS a long story will know it tends to garner a bit of barracking.  Dave was no exception, but he held to his line and refused to give in, and as time passed we warmed to his tale of woe, distress, company liquidations, businesses failing the second he was employed, whole industries falling down around his ears, vast tracts of land gaining planning permission just to frustrate his modest aims.  A true story of northern grit, dogged determination, living in a shoebox on the central reservation of the M6 ............and chocolate.

Ah! I hear you say, at last the chocolate.

Dave proceeded to melt, mix, wack, 'temper' (trade term don't you know), and generally mess about with a bucket of chocolate.
He then invited a member of GASS to try and make a hand-made chocolate.

and then he asked GASS to try one....

        

Talk about pigs to the trough, several members were trampled underfoot, injuries that will take some time to heal,
chocolate that will take time to get off Gucci loafers (it really clogs the tassels).
A sorry sight as every single choccie was scoffed in double quick time.  Then it was on to the wrapped ones which disappeared about as fast,
even though we had to pay (some more than others if they happened to be out of the room when the complimentary vouchers were given out!)

 

Oh! and I forgot, Dave did get another member to try his hand at Choclatiering...

 

See if you can identify him....

    

So you think that is a man previously know to us as Hu*h Ede***nu.

Wrong! - Hu*h has made a formal request to change his name to Hew Ediludaloooo.
Apparently Hew is worried that his high flying bankers, prior to lending him 100,000,000 squid will send some minion to 'Google' his rather common old surname,
and thus find their way to this illustrious website where they may be less than impressed with the antics of said 'H*gh' that they find herein.
 

Personally, I would have though it would be the company accounts that would give them colic, not a few snaps of Hew having fun.
However, despite the hard work it gives to our webmaster - I have personally gone through the whole site and altered every use of Hew's name I can find.
I have changed 58 entries - If I have missed any please DO let me know. 

 

There is one trade off though - the old Hu*h Edel**anu, despite several requests, still orders pints of sherry on the GASS drinks bill at meetings.
The old Hu*h had several times agreed to stop this as he understood that his bar bill was often 50 plus, which was obviously not on.

GASS members pay 40 a meeting, which is roughly 15 drinks, 15 food, 10 entertainment.
It is not GASS's fault that Sherry is sold in bars by the tot at around 2.40 a tot, and normally around 20 tots/bottle, so a bottle is 48. 
The old Hu*h regularly drank 1-2 bottles.

A point to note is that House Champagne in most bars is often just 25-29
Would we accept any member drinking two bottles of Champagne on their own?
I very much doubt it - but it would actually be cheaper than Sherry.

The rule at GASS is (or should be) that under no circumstances can you regularly drink far more in value than the whole of your monthly contribution.
Especially when the drinks element of the monthly fee is only about 15.
The new Hew Ediludaloooo has agreed to either pay for his own Sherry - or to drink beer, spirits & mixer or wine, like the rest of us.
Beers are about 3 each, Spirits & Mixer are about 3.50.  GASS members tend to drink about five each at a meeting.  Value about 15.

Welcome to new member - Hew Ediludaloooooo